If I was Google, I'd sue these jerks
CONTRACT #: MAV/NNPC/FGN/MIN/009,
Swift Code: BPH KPL PK,
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
CENTRAL BANK NIGERIA
Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/04
Attn Honorable Contractor,
IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT CONTRACT NO:
During the auditing and closing of all financial
records of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) it was
discovered from the records of outstanding Foreign
contractors due for payment with the Federal Government
of Nigeria in the year 2006 that your name and company
is next on the list of Those who will receive their
I wish to officially notify you that your payment is
being processed and will be released to you as soon as
you respond to this letter.
Also Note that from the record in our file, your outstanding
contract payment is USD$10 Million (10 Million,United States
Dollars). Kindly re-confirm to me if this is inline with
what you have in your record and also re-confirm to me the
information below to enable this office Proceed and finalize
your fund remittance without further delays.
1) Your full name.
2) Phone, fax and mobile
3) Company name, position and address.
4) Profession, age and marital status.
5) Copy of Drivers License I .D.
As soon as the above information are received,
your payment will be made available to you via an
international certified bank draft,which will be
delivered to your doorstep for your confirmation.
You should call my direct number as soon as you
receive this letter for further discussion and more
Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)
Wow. 10 million bucks. Wonder if they want copies of my passport and birth certificate too?
I was going to call them to collect the money, but oops! They forgot to include a number!
(Either way, how very nice of the Central Bank of Nigeria to offer to send so much money through this lottery.)
Ooh gotta go! I just found out how to increase my penis by 6 INCHES! And when I'm done with THAT, I can be one of the lucky few to donate money to a little boy in Nigeria (hmm again?) with an extra arm and no legs just by forwarding the email to all of my friends!
In other interesting news, I'd like to announce that The Weath er Network doesn't know it's arse from it's elbow.
That's right. I said it.
We've had the craziest weather I can ever remember during the past few weeks, we've seen heavy snowfall, accumulations of up to 25cm, then watch it all melt the next day. There's been hail, tons of rain, fog, "ice chips" (thanks for that one Weather Network), and then sunshine. The temperatures have dropped to as cold as -27, and risen to +10.
Today, I was sure school buses would be canceled due to the freezing rain that had fallen overnight. Luckily they weren't, and I got to teach three workshops, then spend a couple of hours helping out at the office before the next storm hit us. My boss drives a minivan, and had it parked on the far side of our lot, where each space angles slightly upward as the ground turn into a hill. At around 2:00pm, she realized that her van wasn't where she'd parked it. It had traveled half a foot down the little hill and was almost on the road.
The freezing rain that fell for several hours is now snow. Appar ently this major storm has come in from the USA (funny how the cold weather is always blamed on US) and will now dump a mix of freezing rain and snow from 15-25m. I really wish Mother Nature would give up the crack.
Since I teach two more workshops in the morning, I checked the weathernetwork.com to see what was happening.
First, I saw this (click on the pics to enlarge):
Then after clicking on the link, read about this storm:
How can you POSSIBLY SAY "we expect up to 1cm of snow" when there's a flipping blizzard on it's way???
Apparently somebody at The Weather Network is playing a mean trick on somebody else.