Saturday, September 30, 2006

feeling a little silly

It poured rain last night for hours.

I didn't expect that I would hear the sound of rain on the roof while living in a basement flat, but our bedroom happens to jut out from the other part of the building so we do get treated to that sound. One of the pipes ahead is broken though, so when it rains really hard it overflows and sounds like somebody having a giant shower in our outdoor space - pretty loud. We're trying to think of a good way to block the sound, since towels don't absorb it (water eventually saturates the towel and the noise starts again), leaves, umbrellas, and a piece of wood just make it louder. I'm thinking maybe a screen or something that will catch the water just before it hits the ground - that might work...

But we still get to hear the rain and the thunder - both of which lasted till early morning.


After reading my post from last night, I noticed

a) that i've obviously been reading too many MM archives since both my title and ending are imitations of how his posts generally go (completely unintentionally)
b) when I'm in an emotional state like yesterday, writing something that will be read by anybody probably isn't the best thing to do
c) I'm perfectly capable of pulling a Bridget Jones-style freak-out (if you haven't read the book - it's excellent)
d) a combination of bad news (again) and lack of sleep will likely lead to the aforementioned freak-out
e) things always feel better in the morning

"Hi honey - what's going on?! I've been worrying about you all day"

That's all I needed to hear from my mom before breaking down and telling her everything that has been going on, including my bad news and the fact that J might not be able to stay in England with me after all. The poor lady had to sit there and listen to my sniffling self for a half hour as I dumped it all out. Thank God for mothers.

Especially mine, who is always quick to help and give comfort. We strategized about the situation and agreed that a phone call to the landlord today would be a good idea - so they know I'm not going to renege on my rent. Since this type of thing surely must have happened to others before (particularly foreigners who couldn't know that checks take this long to process) they'll likely be familiar with the story.

So I guess I'll be able to eat / live here after all. I feel a bit silly about the emotional outburst, but that's how I was feeling and writing it all into my blog did help.

Part of me feels like I should apologize for making such a big fuss about this, when there are people dealing with cancer, the deaths of loved ones, their children's illnesses, and other things that I know nothing about. I hope that Next Time this happens (and it will) that I can be more mature about it and see the problem for that it is: something I can work through.


Why this quick turnaround? I woke up this morning and as usual, boiled water for tea to drink as I read about what's happening in the world.

Amazon Mystery: story of a Bralizian jet carry 155 passengers that either crashed or collided with another plane. Nobody knows what happened.

Suicide bomber kills 10, injures 54 in Afganistan
: more people dying over there - it's horrible

Principal at small Wisconsin school shot & killed by young student

For obvious reasons, anything about school violence gets my attention. As an educator, one of the most important responsibilities I have is to keep those kids safe. All of them. From not running the hallways to behaving properly in the bathrooms to making sure that there is no sign of aggression between students. Watching the ones who don't seem to have that oh-so-important network of friends to depend on when things seem to be at their worst. I'm not a parent, but being responsible to 30 kids who ARE somebody's babies is the most important thing I've ever had to do. I take this very seriously and hope none of those trusted to me ever have to go through what these poor kids in Colorado and Wisconsin have been through this past week.

It's humbling to think about real tragedies after writing a post like last night's - it makes my problems seem a lot smaller in the whole scheme of things.


Then I noticed that J had sent this to me last night. It's impossible stay in a bad mood when you're watching somebody do something so stupid / hilarious / cool. If you haven't clicked on the link - all I will say is home-made redneck fireworks display.

Today is sunny and fresh and I'm going to walk in the park with J and enjoy this amazing city. I will try not to stress about things out of my control (now I sound like self-help book!).

And I'll post about something much more upbeat and interesting, since I've got a few good stories to tell from this week...


  • At 8:34 PM, Blogger Stu said…

    First, feel how you want to feel. You're going through a heart-rending situation and you've got a right to feel how you choose to feel.

    My opinion: You're not being silly at all. I can empathize with you, I've been in mildly similar situations at various points in my life and it is tough, no two ways about it. Money is a need and when you can't put it together the way you want, life sucks. Hitting up the 'rents is awful. But as a parent, let me tell you that it is never an issue to give money to a child. If we have it, we want you to have it. It makes us feel good to know that you still need our help. I don't mean to speak for your folks, I'm just sayin' my perspective.

    May fortune stop at your flat for a long layabout.

  • At 12:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank Stu, you said it very well. Sure am praying for better days.


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